Day 2

I don't intend to write a blog post every day, but I think on day 2 it is important to put down my thoughts and feelings for many reasons. Firstly, I am now detoxicated, well rested and feeling much more alive after the weekend's excesses. Therefore, it's natural for me to now reflect on how I feel about starting the blog and putting my issues in the public domain. Do I have any regrets or worries? Absolutely not, the only regret I have is not doing this sooner! If anything it has galvanised me and being able to document the journey is working for me and helping focus my mind on the things I love as well as helping me think about the solutions. 

Secondly, as I am at day 2 I have had a chance for my family and friends to read and process my first blog post. I don't think the contents are a surprise to anybody, but I was worried people may not appreciate me airing them publicly. I couldn't have been further from the truth and I have had some very supportive comments from them all. 

Amazing when you are sober how the world is on your side. Even the weather seems to be so. The blue skies and frosty ground has dried up the bike trails and I've been out today for a fantastic ride to the Peak District. On the ride I've been thinking about how my life will need to change dramatically and how, if I am to see it through, my new behaviour will impact people around me. 

My wife and I have always enjoyed going to restaurants in Spain and the UK - it is a big part of our lives. We tend to do most of our eating out in Spain though due to the quality and value for money of the food in our favourite restaurants there, which far exceeds that in the UK. When there we tend to eat out Thursday to Sunday and then put our efforts into exercise, and films and night's in Monday to Wednesday. 

Whilst I can wait until reaching the restaurants for dinner before starting to drink, although often I have an aperitif en route, my insatiable appetite for more very soon takes over. I will often (usually) go on for more alcohol after the food in a variety of my favourite bars, and meet people I have come to know over the years in Marbella. My wife on the other hand is able to moderate her alcohol intake and knows when it's time to go to bed, something. that seems to have eluded me my entire life.  This inevitably leads to me being out without her, late at night and heavily intoxicated, and then of course the heavy hangovers hit me the next day. It's just the all or nothing approach to drinking that I have always had. I can do without it, but if I have it I can't stop. 

So whilst I was riding along today, I realised my biggest challenge is not day 2 as I will easily not need a drink anytime soon, but it will come when we are back in Spain in just over a week's time. I can't expect my wife to do without the things she loves, and not go out to eat at our favourite restaurants, just to keep me out of temptation's reach. I know I will have to go as normal and that's when my biggest challenge will present itself. This Friday will also be a challenge, as we tend to go to our local pub that day when in the UK. Again I will need to go along as normal and enjoy a couple of soft drink this time and allow her to have a couple of small lagers as usual. The thought scares me frankly, will I still love it as much without alcohol? Surely I can learn to do so? It's a massive hurdle, but one I need to get over if I am going to move to the next stage of this journey. It's my problem and mine to resolve, I can't let the solution detract from other people's lives.

Time flew with these thoughts rushing through my mind and I reached the Peak District hills in no time this morning. I looked down on Manchester and Stockport below me, the scenes of my 15 hour, 15 pint bender on Saturday night and Sunday morning laid out before me. It struck me as poetic to be now high above them, but it's very early days.