Second attempt Day 4

Although a long running source of some debate amongst historians, Lantejuela just outside the small city of Ecija, Andalucia is now generally accepted as the place where the battle of Munda took place in 45 BC.  

The residents of Ecija, staunch supporters of Julius Caesar, were instrumental in winning this battle for the soon to become dictator of the Roman Republic. This was the final and decisive battle of the Roman civil war, which allowed Caesar to return to Rome victorious to claim his title. 

Caesar never forgot the loyalty and bravery shown by the Ecija residents against his opponents the Pompeian army, led by the eldest son of Pompey the Great, whom Caesar had killed off a few years earlier. After the victory he rewarded Ecija handsomely and ploughed wealth into the city for regeneration and fortification works. Caesar himself was assassinated a year after the famous battle, which paved the way for the rise of the Roman Empire. He never got to  see the final product of his plans for the city though - unfortunately, neither did I today, not all of them anyway. 

Fast forward almost 2050 years. In 1998 Ecija's Town Council approved a plan, unbelievably so, to bulldoze a large area of the Roman ruins built by Caesar's generosity, including a bathhouse, Roman gymnasium and temple - to make way for......wait for it....... a 300 car parking lot in the centre of the town. An act of utter cultural vandalism that deprived the world of these priceless relics for eternity.

I arrived in the town of Ecija today around 3pm, having ridden from Cordoba. I started searching for Rachel and our hotel where we would spend the first night's stop on my cycle ride along the glorious Via Verde de Campina route.  In doing so I came across the parking lot now standing on the site of the Roman ruins. It struck me as so sad, final and irreversible that such an act could have been allowed to happen. To be fair the rest of the town is stunning, and many Roman relics are beautifully preserved,  but even so, surely this is now regarded as a shocking and regrettable decision.  

It also made me think about my own downfall last Sunday night and strangely made me feel a little better. I had woken up very unhappy with myself for having fallen after two weeks of not drinking last Monday morning . With the hangover mixed in as well, I felt like a complete and utter failure when I awoke. However, on reflection, unlike Ecija's lost, historical monuments my situation was certainly not irreversible. I had another chance to get this right, many chances if that's what is necessary. After all I have now completed 19 days, and have only taken alcohol on one of those evenings, albeit a skin and a half full. That in itself is a new record and it's growing longer by the day.

In the last few days I have been piecing together in my mind where it went wrong. I don't think it was so much that I was naive to think I could stop drinking at the first attempt, but I do think I was so in assuming I could sit in a bar with a group of friends who were drinking for a long period of time, and not do so myself. 

I've had to reset my expectations. Whilst I am not planning to turn into a recluse overnight, I have made the difficult decision to not attend bars or pubs with friends who are drinking. This will hopefully only be temporary until I feel happy and strong enough to cope in those situations. Whilst I was put under no pressure at all by anybody present  on Sunday night, peer pressure is going to be an obstacle in my own mind and it caused me to feel I had to join in on Sunday. In these early days I am still fallible.

I feel completely safe and in control when with Rachel and have not faltered once when with her. We spend a great deal of time living and travelling together, and she can happily drink moderately.  So I  want to carry on as normal and eat out Thursday to Sunday so she can have a couple of drinks. Also, I'd like to continue eating out with friends as this is time limited and for an hour or so I can enjoy myself without the booze, unlike long pub meet ups. I feel that's a better environment for me at the moment. I'd also like to do more meeting up in non drinking environments too,  e.g tennis, or coffee in the day.  I really hope people understand this approach, but it's going to be necessary for a while. 

I'm now back where I belong, on my bike, exploring and soaking up the Andalucian countryside, food and culture. I'm back to my best and want to stay there. Riding the first half of the Via Verde today has really put me back on track. 

Ecija Council bulldozed some of their past for what? A car park for God's sake. I'm bulldozing some of mine for something bigger and better I hope. To kill off the excesses if you like, and renew myself so I can concentrate fully, not part-time, on what really matters to me. Consistent with Roman mythology, I'm at the preverbial gates of the underworld, pleading with Pluto to let me in and give me a second life by promising to change for the better. The old ways dead. 

Hail Caesar, those who are about to die salute you!