Final Post - Reflections

120 days ago I finally felt compelled to make a change. At the age of 52, with a lot of spare time, and let's not beat around the bush, a lot of spare money on my hands too, I wanted to break a 35 year drinking habit - I desperately needed to break it actually. At least in my younger days spare time and money were so limited that my drinking was reduced to only a couple of days a week. Now, with the shackles off it could easily spiral out of control. That decision may well have saved my life. 

The truth is I had a binge drinking addiction. Alcohol affected my brain in such a way that I could not stop once I reached a threshold, a very low one at that. Yes, I only drank 2 or 3 times a week, but considering what I was drinking each time, it was becoming a very dangerous pastime. I've learnt from recent reading and research that this affects many people and is quite a common issue. I certainly know many people with the same trait. One old mate, on reading my blog recently responded to me that he was fortunate to possess an off-switch - he won't mind me saying, but if he did I certainly never saw it over the last 15 years - the only way out of this, if that is actually what you want of course, is to accept the brutal truth. I'm so glad I did.

The first 91 days passed so quickly, and I only faltered once in that time. I felt initially that only by quitting completely could I beat this problem. My weight plummeted, my fitness improved and my energy levels allowed me to embark on very ambitious physical challenges. My love of cycling was the perfect antidote, as far removed, in every conceivable manner, from sitting in a bar drinking. Without my cycling passion I'm not sure how I could have channeled my new found time and zest for life.

At the back of my mind though I missed the buzz of good company and laughs in the bar,  and sure enough on day 91 I fell again, lured by all the temptations that my beloved Marbella slowly and surreptitiously imposes on me. The last time I entered a pub in the UK, or had a drink at our UK home, was on January 16th 2022, but when in Spain the truth is I found it difficult not to sit and chat in a sunny bar, eventually giving in and drinking last month.

Our Marbella home seemed to sum up the entire dilema I have faced for 35 years. Turn left out of there after breakfast and I'm out on the bike in no time high in the beautiful Andalucian mountains , or slogging it out at the tennis club down the road - turn right though and its the chiringuito beach bars of the Costa del Sol or the bars of La Campana village, San Pedro de Alcantara, Puerto Banus, etc. 

'Which way today Sir?' has been my daily dilema since we bought our home there.

During the day 92 hangover, a particularly bad one as it was my first for 77 days, my thinking evolved again. Rather than constant  pulling and pushing, could there be a way that these two opposing forces could co-exist?  Cycling AND alcohol if you like. I had become much stronger over the previous three months, and alcohol had become so much less important to me and pretty much non-existent in my life. Im writing this and another week and weekend has flown by. I've been so busy I've not had the time or desire to drink. I'm in control of 'it' now, it's not automatically on the agenda anymore.

Sure, the day will come when I may fancy another one, possibly this coming Sunday at the Etihad stadium if City win the league, but if I do drink, it will be my first in the UK for 127 days. Is that a sin?

Drinking is now a rarity and that is one hell of a result from where I was. In fact so far in 2022 my alcohol consumption has fallen by over 90%, and that looks set to continue. However, if I want to have a drink  in future I probably will. It will probably be a big session when it happens, which is why it's worth saving up and waiting for -  when in great company, or a very special occasion  - quality not quantity!

So where now?  Rachel and I are moving to Gibraltar to see out our time and start drawing down her pension pot at a sensible rate of tax, followed by my pot soon. We expect to be there for many, many years. A deposit was paid for a 12 month lease of a lovely beach side, serviced apartment, and we will take up residency at the start  of  July. Close-by Marbella will still be our second home, but  we will only be present in the UK for no more than three months per year from now on. It feels so good to be embarking on our 'third age' in such a position of mental and physical strength. 

All that remains is to thank all of you who have read this blog over the last 4 months, and regularly checked back for updates - you are true friends and you know who you are, and so do I (I have my means). Thanks for your lovely messages of support too. My final message goes to my beautiful, intelligent, supporting and loving wife and family. You are simply the best. Kids, now your parents are soon to become pensioners, we are going to have one hell of a fooking ball for as long as God allows, believe you me.

In the end, I think I found my destination:-

Mainly Cycling with a little splattering of alcohol.